


The Options For Bestman Were Limited

by AnnieVH



Series: Queens of Darkness Sitcom AU [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Humor, Queens of Darkness, awkward conversation, ella gold, queen of darkness sitcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 12:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4960816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieVH/pseuds/AnnieVH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-series ficlet.<br/>Ella Gold teases her little big brother before his wedding day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Options For Bestman Were Limited

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Queens of Darkness Sitcom AU.
> 
> chrissykp asked for "woobie virgin nervous groom". In this story, Gold is 25ish and Ella is 20ish (I know, I am so precise it's amazing).
> 
> Still taking prompts for this verse.

"You're nervous."

"Rubish," Malcom said, though he couldn't stop fumbling with his cufflinks.

"Yes you are!" Ella said, with girlish delight. "My little big brother is nervous because he's getting married!"

"I am not nervous because I am getting married. And don't call me that. I'm just... worried dad will cause a scene. Go make sure he's sober."

Ella scoffed.

"I meant sober enough."

"Auntie's got him. So..." she continued, observing him pace the hotel room. "Is it because you are having second thoughts?"

"Why do you keep saying that? Can't you make an effort to like Milah? In two hours she's going to be part of the family."

"Not my fault."

"Ella..."

"Is it because you think she won't go through with it?"

"I wasn't even thinking of that."

"Good."

Ella didn't take another guess.

Malcolm shook his head. "Now I can't stop thinking about it. Go see if she didn't escape through the bathroom window."

"Ha! I'm not going anywhere near that woman! Last time I checked, she was yelling at the hairdresser."

"Is this you being the best possible bestman you promised to be?"

Ella shrugged.

"You should have made friends in school."

"Don't I know it."

"I did pay for the strip club."

"I didn't even want to go to the strip club!"

"You'll thank me some day."

Malcolm huffed, but didn't argue.

Ella gave him a thirty-second break before starting again.

"Are you nervous because she might find out about the stag party?"

Something passed in his eyes, but he said, "No."

Ella frowned. "You are nervous about something." And then she gasped. "Oh my god, you are nervous about the honey moon."

"What?" he snapped, stopping on his heals to face her.

"But why would you be-" she let out an even more dramatic gasp. "Oh my god, you are nervous because you haven't slept with her!"

"Go check on dad!" he ordered, but Ella was too enthralled to drop the subject.

"You proposed to her without even giving it a try? Why would you do that?"

"Ella!"

"Unless you've never- OH! BLOODY! HELL!" Malcolm turned a very particular shade of red, the one he reserved for shame, rather than anger. "Does Milah know? Do you know how things work? I can ask Auntie to come and teach-"

"Alright, that's it! You lost your bestman privileges!" he announced. "No speeches!"

"But little big brother!" she whined.

"No buts! Now go check on dad and make sure he's sober enough not to grab Milah's arse again."

With that, he took her by the arm and dragged her out of the room.


End file.
